[Steven Wagenheim]

Convictions...We all have them.

Some people have very strong convictions and so believe in what they feel and do that they can't see the point of view of others. Their beliefs are unshakable.

Well, that's fine. It's good to have convictions, and there is nothing wrong with having strong ones, but if you're going to be inflexible on some of those convictions and stick to your guns, expect somebody to pull one of those guns out of your holster and blow your brains out with it.

If you survive...you're lucky...nothing more.

As marketers and businessmen, we have to know where we're going to draw that line. We have to know at what point we're going to say, "No, this is wrong and I don't care what you say...it's wrong" and be willing to fight...even die for your convictions.

Just recently, I adamantly said that anybody who tells you that they made a fortune online, overnight, without putting in a lot of work, was either lying or one of the very few who fit that description.

My pronouncement was met with more slings and arrows than Custer at the Little Big Horn.

But I stuck to my guns. As a result, I also ended up getting shot up quite a bit...to the point where I didn't feel the need to subject myself to the gunshots any longer.

I realized that days later when I changed my mind and decided that I wasn't going to allow myself to be run out of dodge, I knew that the slings and arrows were going to come again...and they did.

This time...the wounds were fatal. I can never go back.

It was a choice I had already made when I realized that I couldn't let people force me to back down.

Life will go on. Have I learned some lessons? Yes, I have.

For one thing, I learned that some wars you can't win. You either decide to not fight or you realize that if you do, you're going to lose. What you decide depends on how much the principle means to you. Each person has to decide that for themselves.

The casualty list from this war is going to be long. I have lost many friends and possibly even a little business. No fallout is without its losses.

But would I do the same thing all over again?

In a heartbeat.

Because sometimes a man's principles are more important than winning or losing.

I'll leave you with this thought and you can choose to use it or lose it as you please.

Everything you do does have consequences. If you're smart and watch your words and actions, most of those consequences will be good, though there will always be those who will have very strong convictions opposite your own. Don't think any opinion is going to be without rebuttal.

However, if you just shoot from the hip, like I do, or as they say, "Damn the torpedoes," then prepare yourself for what's to follow.

It can get quite ugly and many times will.

In the final analysis, if we aren't who we really are...we are nobody.

And personally, I'd rather be somebody and alone than nobody with all the friends in the world.

If you stick to your guns...expect to one day get your head blown off.

[Admin]

Hi Steven,

I think this hits what you said in your post to a T:

In the final analysis, if we aren't who we really are...we are nobody.

I too never pull any punches. People know who I am because I'm a straigt shooter, and don't leave them quessing! That comes from knowing who I am.

Yes, it makes other people around us feel insecure sometimes and this is what creates the hassles or clashes. When people feel insecure they go into "battle mode" so they don't feel inferior or inadequate. Instead, as Paul Myers says, they slap at you! But that's because slapping makes them feel more in controll and have power.

It's like the bullies of the world. They have to put people down in order for them to have power or feel good about themselves. Think about it. If you stand up to a bully, they don't know how to handle it. They'd rather throw their buddies in front of themselves as shields (or whatever else they can grab at the time to sheild themselves).

Btw, you also have to know which battles to pick, and that's the hardest part when dealing with others, especially marketers. The bigger fish who may feel inferior or insecure may have a tendency to grab their buddies and pull them into the mix. This way they can shut a person down quickly before they end up looking like the fool.

Now I just don't fool with these people. I use to all the time when I thought they were doing something they shouldn't be doing ... say like ripping people off, or tell them bold faced lies to throw newbies off track from making real money. Now I stay far away from these types of battles.

Why? Because I learned I will never win in a rigged battle, so why go into the battle in the first place.

BUT this does not mean that I cannot or don't remain true to myself or to who Iam. I am me, and if you don't accept me, fine, but don't try to change who Iam because you don't care for who I am.

Anyway, good post, and one I think many people can benefit from.

Btw, do you feel like sharing where and with whom this stand took place? It's okay if you don't. I am simply being nosey here.

[Steven Wagenheim]

Normally, I'd have no problem giving more details but unfortunately since this
is an open forum, there is no telling who will say what to whom and only cause more problems for me, so therefore, I'm going to have to keep this private. If you like, I can PM you the whole sorted affair.

[jbolte1976]

Hey Mary and Steven,

Great Posts!! I'm not a seasoned IM'er but, I understand fully. The topics

discussed are true in all aspects of life.


Win or not, if you hold true to your convictions you can go to bed knowing

you did or stood for the right thing(s).


I understand about picking your battles, I'm married, lol.

Thanks to both of you!!


Jason

[Admin]

Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim

Normally, I'd have no problem giving more details but unfortunately since this
is an open forum, there is no telling who will say what to whom and only cause more problems for me, so therefore, I'm going to have to keep this private. If you like, I can PM you the whole sorted affair.

Hey Steven,

Seriously, I'm so sorry. That was pretty insensitive of me to ask you in public about it. I guess I wasn't thinking.

Smart thinking on your part though!

If you feel okay about sharing the info with me, then sure, I'd like to know.

Btw, I never tell anyone about anything that is private. You can ask a few people here that know me well.


Hey JB,

You're right. This is a part of life, or does touch all aspects of life.


I'm one that likes to be able to lay my head on the pillow at night and sleep. It used to be, I hated that time where I was alone with my own head if you know what I mean. Things have changed much in the last 30 years or so. Now I enjoy the peace lol.

[Slaurain]

I agree totally with the idea that you must stick to your convictions. No matter who you are or where you come from, you have a set of beliefs that you find to be true. If you are willing to change these beliefs without really thinking about it, then it does not say much for your character. And this applies for marketing, business and life.

Scott

[Carl Pruitt]

I too agree totally with sticking with your convictions, but as someone who has studied jiu jitsu since the early 1980's I also realize that sometimes yielding is the best method of gaining the advantage and sometimes backing down is the proper course of action.

Another thing I've learned from life is that outside of science and math there are no absolutes so it does not serve a person well to declare them as a point of argument. Particularly in a public forum people tend to tee off on you in ridiculous fashion when hiding behind their keyboard. Sounds like they missed the impact of your reference to one of the few.

[heathcole]

I so agree with this. I recently was asked for advice on a friend's new business logo. It contained some Christian symbols and I told her that I would not use that. I am a firm believer than unless your business is ABOUT Christianity (i.e. a Christian bookstore) you should avoid stating your religion and keep the business neutral. If you do not do this, you run the risk of offending and ostracizing prospective customers who are not Christian. She took my advice, thankfully.

[rp4life2]

i see convictions as a dual edged sword. yes they give you some strength to fight against the crowds, but in my opinion , its hard to tell when your right to have the conviction in the first place. at what point does one admit that they were wrong in the first place?

[zietgeist]

OP: It's good you stuck to your guns, that's important. I don't know who would be slinging arrows at you since I really don't it's possible to make millions in one night without really working hard... Honestly, all the get rich schemes don't work unless you put work into it... which has always been understated.

[Mercuryman3a]

Having principles and convictions is a good thing, but at some places you have to compromise for the sake of harmony. No major compromises, but minor adjustments have to be made. There will be differences with people, people may attack you too, but if you find that you are outnumbered, it is better to reach a compromise formula, only to be able to prove your point later in some other way.